============================================

2o11~ 我期待您的到来~
新的一年~
plz 一切都美好~
mm goii saii~ 0rz

=s

拜托拜托~

============================

=/

何谓“假期”？
我想要的假期。。 竟然是一个人静静的假期。。
abo.. 就是跟朋友出去走走下~ 还是什么的..
目的? 休息~ 轻松一下~
不过.. 现实却不会如你所愿的~
eek..
总觉得.. 在家里..
更 stress .. >?<"
够力..

有时.. 发白日梦..
有时.. 想些有的没的..
haiz..
更讨厌的事是..
那恶梦般的过去.. 一直挥也挥不去..
不知是它缠着我..
还是..
我缠着它.. = (
发生了的.. 又不可能叫它别发生..
argh!!
为什么你出现?
为什么我成全?
笨!
一个巴掌拍不响!
怎么说.. 自己始终也是有错..
没阻止........
不知道为什么..
就是很不好受.. >?<"
我恨 x x x !! =/

T___________T

haizZz..

我知道.. 有个人.. 又要骂我了.. >?<"
可是.. 我真的不懂该怎么办..
才不会那么放不过自己.. =(



2010 毕之时... 请带走一切让我痛苦的事~

*~ 毕 ~*

摘自fb..

==================

她其实有点懒，喜欢赖床。她其实不太乖，喜欢捣蛋。

她独立，也好强， 她宁愿忍受太多的寂寞和痛苦也不愿意向别人提起。

但其实骨子里，渴望有一个避风港湾，让她去依靠。但她不会承认。

她必须确定那个人是否可以承受得了这一切的，承受她的撒娇、她的无理取闹，她的倔强，她的悲观，她所有的性格缺陷且永远不离不弃。

只有这样，她才放心，可以放心去继续做自己，不会害怕有一天将要面对失 去。如果没有，那么她只好继续寂寞和孤独。

她对爱情没有安全感，也不会给别人安全感.

她爱不起，更怕伤害。她一定要对方先流露出对她有好感，她才散发她的热情。 她爱的永远是对她最好的那个，那个好她心里是有一个标准的，你的积分超过了那条线，她会爱上你，但大多数人没超过线之前就离开了，或者超过了之后没等她看到就离开了。

其实她要的并不多，她要的只是一个温暖的家。对她来说太重要了，虽然在她们口中说出来的却是:我不需要爱情。

当你紧张他的异性朋友,她会一面跟你说，他只是我的谁谁谁，却一面偷偷在意你的感受。她会希望现在的他是怎样怎样的，有各种各样的挑剔苛求的条件，她只不过是想要一个用努力来证明爱她的人，她不求结果，只希望你有那份心。

对她们而言，唯一具备杀伤力的只有感情，感情如果受到挫折，会毁了她，要么成就了她。从此更加漠然，专注于事业。

她分手后完全不会像其他坐在人面前要死要活，她嬉笑怒闹，变得更加开朗，在听到朋友说 有关他的话题时，从不刻意回避，她适当参与，淡然微笑，她的表现总会遭人怀疑这段感情的深浅，而人群中只有那些知道背后情节的人才看见她背后的眼泪和努 力。她从来不会在情人面前大声哭泣，除非她真的崩溃了。

即使在你爱着她的时候，她也会胡思乱想让自己悲伤。

如果你看到她的眼泪，请相信这绝不是她在博取同情，这是她这样一颗内心骄傲的女子不得己的场景。她想对你负责，对她负责，对自己的过去和未来负责，但请你不要轻易给她承诺和誓言，她很难相信。

即使她很难相信，但她还是会选择等待。

她的伤初始浓烈似酒，很快就会变为一杯水， 却让水渗入生活成为点点滴滴.她选择在其中淡定，在其中沉默和内伤。

她就是这样，强势，霸道。任性……不会讨人欢心，死要面子，她爱朋友多过你。

她善变，最耐不住寂寞却又喜欢假惺惺的让自己一个人呆着。

有时候她又充满阳光的气息，爱笑爱说话，活蹦乱跳，可爱迷人。

她很自私，只愿意与人同甘，不愿意让别人跟她共苦。

她的家庭不一定很是富裕，但她都是习惯了养尊处优。

她喜欢热闹，总会成为聚会的焦点，前提是她想。

她也享受孤独，会静坐在一个人的房间听着很伤感的音乐。

她也会一整天呆在房间里心情压抑低落，但第二天一早起来，又会轻轻松松的打理一切，慌慌忙忙的拽着大衣拎着包往外冲。

她习惯在人前表现的很坚强，一付大女子主义的模样。她会想，遇到真正懂她爱她宠她的人，她就一定就会很安静，心甘情愿的安静下来，不烦，不闹，按时吃饭按时睡觉，按时做 一切能安心和他一起做的事情。她从不轻言爱，她的爱很沉默，那并非是因为她缺少那份勇气，在她的心里有一道栅栏，那就是自尊。

她看得比生命更尊贵的自尊。

她会在真正爱她的人面前卸掉所有的盔甲和伪装，做个幸福的小女人，她不要求你要做什么，不会无理取闹要你陪着她，她有自己的生活，她给你空间因为她也需要空间.

她在你面前永远性感调皮，偶尔撒撒娇，跟你玩陌生人的游戏，在你的朋友面前从来大方得体，微笑的依偎在你身边。她不让你给她买这买那，但是心里却会为你私自买给她的礼物而暗自开心，因为女人觉得那是你的宠爱。

她在意的 是你的心，你若真心，她必然实意。最起码你得表现的真心,能让她感觉得到。

终有一天,她的敏感在你的呵护下慢慢消失不见，她的倔强被你 的保护软化，她的伪装在你面前被轻易识穿。　

得到她，别骄傲，只有懂她的人，才会得到她的好。她有时是有些迟钝的，在感情方面，但有时很敏感，因为她在乎……

如果你没有绝对的真心，请别爱她，因为她最怕没安全感，害怕失去平衡……

=============================

多数都是我的感想。。。

...

天真地以为。。 我比它重要。。
原来我不是。。
如果先问我还好不好？
我也不会那么伤心。。
竟然一个死鬼游戏比我还来得重要。。
算了。。
游戏会让人疯掉。。 是真的。
就算是因为天气让我觉得不舒服。。
也可以问候下的吧？！
@!$#$^#$^&$^%&%#

adolescence nowadys.. =="

wat i learnt in ADOLESCENCE PSYCHOLOGY..
is related to wat i saw lately in FaceBook.. =="
most of the thing is stated in AP lo..
for example..
female is more likely to ATTEMPT suicide..
while male is most likely to SUICIDE BY LETHAL MEANS..
in FB ----> Alviss kong suicide case.. >?<"

adolescence like to be on stage~
thus they cr8 pages to attract ppl's attention?
today got a guy... is planning to suicide..
and the way he suiciding..
is totally "copycat suicide".. ==
altho duno the person really will go suicide anot..
he is counting down one day.. b4 suciding..
i guess his family o wat-so-ever frenz sure will get to him n stop him le bah..
hello..
sucide is not a game tat u can play eh...
don simply say wan suicide k?

altho most of us will say..
" I FEEL LIKE DYING AHH!! TODAY SUX!!"..
tat one is juz a way to release stress?..
after say out to frenz.. o shout out..
one will feel better...
at least frenz arnd will comfort xia u.. ^^
den everyth will turn better.. rite?~

i really duno how to deal wid this kind of ppl eh.. >?<"
shld not treat tat as a joke..
but somehow..
ur heart is telling u..
he is juz making fun of the internet to get popular..
lolz..
hope he wun go suicide la..
and his parents shld slap him GOU GOU LI...
to wake him up.. zzz
don teach bad things to de kids la.. aduii..
somebody!! pls wash those ppl's brain..



*~ eNd ~*

week 7?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

went back to KL for few days last week..
not bad la..
i had a kind of feeling.. which is..
i feel like im a princess every time i went home..
lolz..
bcoz watever i wan i oso can get one..
and whenever my dad purposely back from work to see me before i leave KL..
i feel soooooooo warm~~~ ^^
the bad things is..
every time oso rush here n thr one.. =x
like the time is soo sooo soooo dam limited.. zZz
altho sem break looks longer~
but .. still.. the time seems not enuf..
eek..

i like window shopping..
bcoz it doesn't cost much time..
and i only will spend time at one place when i see sth that catches my attention~
haha..
b4 buying more things for myself~
i better focus more on my study siin..
den oni think how to reward myself~
hehee..
IF.. i did not do well this time..
or..
did not do a lot better..
den i'll punish myself.. including YOU. ^^
berat dan ringan sama di-carry~ xþ

hmm..
first time went to shop n hunt for present for frenz wid parents..
it's kinda weird u noe?..
especially when u wanna buy present for ur bf / gf.. >?<"
they even helped me think wat to buy..
lolxx..
they suggested.. shirt? necklace? urm..
duno wat else..
but u juz bought shirts.. and u so...... therefore.. no shirt~ xpp
necklace.. u oso tak pakai one..
suan le bah..
ma fan punya ppl.. =="
at the end.. . .. .. . .. ..
i still THINKING! wat to buy.. zZz
u don put too high hope ba..
later disappointed den u zap sang la ha~ =s
don kill me later~
warn xiia u 1st.. wakaka~ xDD

**+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+**

anyway..
seeing hsemates are now like doesnt really wan to care wat happen to de hse..
it's kinda disappointed..
take things for granted too much ad?..
o juz tat it really not a big problem tat everyone shld be cared of? ..
i noe everyone do not like problems..
but it's not fair to throw the existing problems to some other ppl without even caring how does it goes..
or don even noe wat happen..
arent we suppose to cooperate to solve the problems together?
some problems .. we need to settle them by oneself..
some we need to settle them together..
don be the one who only noe how to find other ppl to help when the problem is related to oneself..
it doesnt harm to take initiative to do some things..
haizZz..
or .. mayb..
im juz too sensitive.. =/

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


*~ eNd ~*

aikz..

im slowin down ad..
eek..
tis is not good..
but.. thr is not enuf energy for me to continue.. =/
im sad..
and i don like the feeling of unable to do anth..

whenever think of "sun zhi"..
my mood will drop from the highest point into a big hole!!
why the heck do we nid to learn 孙子兵法?!
i don mind to learn it.. IF AND ONLY IF thr is a good better best lecturer!!
thr is no other lecturer that cant teach tat subject ad izit?!
why let him teach us??!
can u imagine..
someone is talking to u for two hours per week..
by direct translating the chinese words into english?!
it's dam torturing u noe?
some more.. the way he explain.. is juz bulat bulat from slides..
mayb im stupid and slow to direct translate back wat he is talking abt..
but.. but... BUT.. i really jip sao mm dou lor! >?<"
kill me ba liao..
i did paid full attention to wat he was teaching..
but then.. tat really cant work..
i tried again.. but??.. failed!!
especially when he was showing the movie clip o watever..
it's hard for me to catch wat the movie abt..
i wonder how those students (who do not know how to read chinese words or those non chinese) are going to understand the movie clip.. =="
it's in mandarin conver.. without the eng subtitle..
waliao ehh..
someone.. pls save me from this torturing subject lecture(R).. T_T

monday is the mid term for sun zhi..
and i really duno how easy tat will be..
according to him.. he said v can score all correct one la..
let's see how i die for it.. zZz

the kanasai asgmnt not even started yet..
im so dam gan jiong..
mayb i shld try the way..
by telling myself..
" segalanya baik " xDD
lolz!!
i learnt this from a movie --> "3 idiot"
it's a nice indian movie..
honestly..
haha.. go watch it if u haf the time to do so~
it's meaningful~^^

one of the thing tat the main actor is doin was..
learning for wat he wanted to learn..
and not learning to get the best grades..
he was a genius in that movie..
so.. i cant follow like wat he did..
i only can study hard.. in order to learn wat i wanna learn...
and also "sun bian" score to hit my target..
tat's all.. =/
haizz..

im half disappointed wid my asgmnt tis time..
i cant blif it..
i jip sao mm dou oso..
prove to me that u are not this careless most of the time..
show me that u are doin it seriously..
or else.. i do not wan this kind of work..
i do not wan groupmate tat do not accept suggestions..
don take wat u're not competent in and do it..
tat will juz ruin the whole thing..
u can try to do it.. even u do not know how..
by learning how to do it..
by asking ppl how to do it..
by improving the way how u deal wid it!

when i get frustrated and stressed up..
i could hardly calm myself down..
i couldnt do my work properly..
i'll even fatt lan za..
better stay away from me tat time..
oni one ppl will noe i sth wrong bahh..
at the end haf to help me zap dao meii tim.. lolz
tQ!! heheeee... xpp
b4 this.. i tot .. this time.. i do not finish my asgmnt last min anymore..
but hu knows?..
the fact is..
i finished my own part..
but den.. others not yet..
at the end?..
they rush till late late..
i gan jiong till late late.. =="
and the story does not end thr..
the outcome..?
thr's alot of errors.. and dam messy.. zZz
if din zap dao meii..
i think..
the asgmnt can be thrown into the dustbin jorr..
conclusion..?
i continue to stress as if we were rushing it last min again..
great...
tat feeling sux.. =(

i hope i'll b energetic again!!
i wanna complete tis sem without any regrets..
i hope.... =s


*~eNd~*

aww.. it's week 4 soon~ >?<"

play liao yi xia..
den go study yi xia..
den play duo yi xia..
den study duo yi xia~ @@"

i hope tis will really work tis time~
eek..

asgmnt.. no more last minute work..
yes!
im dam happie..
altho nid to finish one in a limited time..
but stil.. at least no need to rush so much..
whee~
two more days.. one asgmnt will be gone..
den thurs mid term~
nx week..
another asgmnt's turn to be gone~
den mid term again~
nx nx week~
another asgmnt due date + mid term~ >?<"

so dam busy..
no time to go back KL shopping tim.. T_T
lolz..
hope it's all worth~~

ytd bcoz of asgmnt stuff..
den din back KL to attend a fren's bday party~
eek..
feel sorry for her..
hope she wun mind.. =x

n finally?..
glad tat my group had finally came out wid sth for the video clip~
consider 75% / 80% done?..
besides editing work + cut here n thr..
cant wait to see the end result weii~~~

wish me luck bahh ~ ^^v



*~ eNd ~*

i wanna~~

i wanna do well well tis term~!
i wanna be more healthy ~!
i wanna get a better way to study~!
i wanna get a Master in the future!~
i wanna... .. ... ..

alot alot of things i wanna do~~~
yet.. i haven do..
i unable to do..
i failed to do so..
eek.. =/

therefore..
thus~~
i need to work really really hard n sibeh serious now!! >?<"
gib my CGPA back~! T_T




*~ eNd ~*

sem break is comin to an end~

last thurs.. i went Malacca for a 2 days one nite trip~
luckily got Mr. Joseph to be our tour guide + driver~
million tQ~ hoho~
if not.. we will be like tersesat punya kids..
y??
bcoz we haf no plansSs~
and duno the place..
so..
without a Mr. guide~
we all GG liao~ >?<"
hmm.. we went to the...
kapal Potugis?~
Red House?~
bukit St. John?~ or sth.. =x forgotten jor.. bcoz too tired ad.. eek
a duno wat geh church.. =s
jonker walk~
and shopping mallsSss~ lmao.. =="
oh ya.. and ZOO!! ^^
(can considered my 1st visit to zoo~ bcoz i ad don remember wat i saw durin my kindergarten~ wakaka~ xDD)
ate??..
biji chicken rice~ i luv the rice very much.. lolz..
satay celup~
bing tong wu lou~~ nx time i will juz eat oni strawberry one.. =/
and wat else?.. i forgot jor.. T_T
i knew i ate McFlurry Milo~ ngek ngek~
I STILL WAN choc geh~ ^^ heheeee

i wanted to go Malacca for a long time jor one..
bcoz i wanna visit those historical places..
tat's my main purpose..
hoho..

due to the fact that we walked alot during the trip..
after back home..
i almost slept for 24 hrs..
not so serious la~
but i took a nap for the 1st time since im back from Kampar..
lolz..
GREAT!!
until i forgotten my date wid my pri best fren.. T_T
huei min~ forgif me pls~ =s
haf to wait till nx sem break again.. aikz..
almost one yr din meet jor.. T_T

hmm..
everyday at home..
eat + sleep + play~
most of the time.. @@
i really rest alot tis sem break~
next sem.. can fight again jor~ ^^
btw.. tml o the day after tml..
den the tak boleh tengok punya results will be coming out ad~ =(
haizz..
no eyes see~

2 more days~
den..
den...
KAMPAR~ im coming back to u~ ^^
den....
den.....
have to say bye bye to air conds ad~ T_T
sobz sobz..
and also soups cooked by mom..
eek..





*~ eNd ~*

aduii~ >?<"

today went to eat sushi at Sunway Pyramid..
Bonanza RM2 merr~
so.. haf to queue for our turn to eat de lor..
normal geh..
when the ppl who was lookin for seats for us told us..
wait for 5 mins more ha~~
ok.. ma wait lor..
mana tau..
an oh ba sang..
duno which nerve cell sot plug ad..
go argued wid the ppl thr for seats..
bcoz got old ppl waitin thr wa..
waliao eh.. first come fist serve one lo..
wat reason was tat?..
u can let the so call old ppl sit somewhr to wait gah..
lame excuse..
bhind us was a pregnant woman wid a big stomach..
y don they continue to let the customers to cut queue??! =="
suan lo~ fineeeee lorr~~
sister purposely zat the sushi king staff..
den they oso have no valid reason to answer us.. y they did tat?
haha.. shuang~
wan to use old ppl to cut queue also is not by tis way lorr..
i oso brought my grandma went b4..
but we never cut queue ok ??~
got chair bside for customer to sit if u cant stand long de lorrr...
WTH!!
not that we are bad for not letting old ppl in first..
but this is not lyk in the bus..
let old ppl sit first..
hello~
some rules are made to be followed k?~
auntieeeee~ =_____="

den.. den..
mom's frenz were eating inside..
den..
my mom went inside to chat wid her frenz lorr..
hu knows.. they must go n pay bill liao..
bcoz one hour jor..
max time for a customer to dine in..
thus.. they all went to pay bill.. while my mom continue to stay inside..
bcoz it's our turn to dine in liao..
at the same seat tim..
so no nid ma fan to move wert..
rite?
but the staff keep shoo my mom..
altho my mom kept tellin them she was juz chatting wid her frenz juz now..
while i kept telling them she's wid me.. =="
we tot.. the prob has solved after that..
mana tau..
mom's frenz queued up for the 2nd time to dine in again..
bcoz no ppl was queuing ma..
and they wanna continue eat i guess..
but.. the staff NEVER gif them a table..
know wat they did?..
they stuck them ---> 5 ppl..
plus my family 5 ppl..
equal 10 ppl ..
to eat at the SAME table.. =="
we got 2 diff sushi cards..
but they tried to accuse us for using oni one card to dine in..
u say..
if u are the person hu bein treated lyk tis..
will fat lan za anot ?!
how would u feel??

the main point is..
the customer service at SUNWAY PYRAMID's SUSHI KING..
is tak boleh pakai~!!
sux TTM
their supervisor o manager came to asked wat happened..
he got it..
but never say sorry.. =="
luckily got one kinda handsome staff served us wid a polite manners..
else.. they will continue fat lan za..
lmao!!
in addition..
they they they..
look down on short ppl?? =="
ignored me this pitiful shorty while queuing to dine in....
in front of me were some office ladies...
they asked others how many ppl.. but never ask me.. T_T
at 1st.. i tot it's juz accidentally left me out..
but it's not!
the 2nd time was still the same..
i haf to raise up my hand to to to catch their attention..
and then they oni ask me how many person.. =="
swt!!
im not the young husband n wife hu stand bhind me geh daughter lor..
common sense plss~ >?<" eek.. sad dao wo.. haiz.. nobody can understand a shorty gehh feelin.. T_T

>?<"
eeekkkk~





*~ the eNd of one unsatisfying day ~*

我一直想知道某些问题的答案..
结果没想太多..
就跑去找出答案来..
好奇心太强.. 没办法..
哈哈~ xpp
但是咧.. 就害到一个人在那边生闷气 + 喝醋~
既然现在我懂了..
以后我也不会再好奇.. 再去想..
也有种好像把心头大石给丢掉了那样~^^
原来那个人.. 是那么没用的。
不要也罢~
我也不可能会倒回去的咯~ 笨蛋~ ^^

那天.. 问了奇怪的问题..
不是胡思乱想..
尔.. 又好像是有一点点... =="
信心突然不懂跑到哪里去了..
结果就酱咯..
被气死了吧?
hmm..
有些东西... 我还是想尽我所能地去帮..
希望你会支持我~
偶尔听下我发牢骚..
虽然多数我都做不到些什么.. >?<"
知道你不要我那么 stress..
但要是我什么都没做.. 我会更stress.. =s

咳..
昨天又失眠了.. zZz
那个沟通的语气、方式改一改不就好了吗?
大家合作点拜托~ =(




*~ 毕 ~*

yr2 s1 = ENDED!!

first of all.. i juz back in KL ytd~
but.. seems like i juz got home..
mayb few hrs ago.. lolz..
ok.. my yr2 sem1 has officially ended in a very..
super.. duper ugly way.. =="
i mean..
the final exam..
but after exam.. it was better~
exam finished in the mornin.. (at 1st.. i tot exam is at 2pm.. zZz)
end earlier..relax earlier..
but den..
it was not as relief as i tot i would be..
and not happy at all.. =[
duno y..

hmm.. after my lunch..
i followed my frenz to Chederong Balai at 12.30pm..
it is the place whr my "mak angkat" lives..
got some fruits for her~
(my bf helped me bought them one.. TQ!~ ^^)
i din call her day b4 to inform her tat im goin thr to visit her..
tot all oso go secara curi-curi ma..
lyk tat baru surprise wert~
den my fren ask me to confirm xia..
in case.. she not at home..
i go liao oso = nth.. =/
so.. hoii choii... she at home.. =D
and.. when we all juz reached thr...
she ad standing at the door thr waitin ~ *_*
so touchin~~~
she asked y tak cakap awal-awal??? aduii...
i don wan tell bcoz don wan her to cook banyak-banyak~
she sure will prepare food one.. >?<"
but we all juz go visit a while..
tak baik.. juz eat bit den pit gah..
so.. ma lyk tat luu~
she asked me to inform awal-awal nx time b4 visit her nx time ~
haha~ ^^
we all take turn to visit each other's mak angkat..
mana tau..
almost all oso got prepare food.. *faint*
bcoz their anak angkat=my frenz..
they told them that we're comin.. >?<"
as the RESULT~!!
all haf to eat..
and i ad full + food lagi..
at the end.. BLOATED~ @@"
omg..
luckily..
kebanyakan my frenz oso helped me gao dim those food jor..
ngek ngek~
visit xia visit xia.. ad 4.30pm.. >?<"
i haf to go back KL at 6.30pm..
walao eh..
luckily ngam ngam hou reach kampar at 6pm..

but..
but den lehh..
somebody waited till neck long long liao lorrrrr~ =s
paiseh la~
really haf to wait 3 weeks den oni can meet liao.. xpp
o mayb in the middle of sem break lehh~
haha.. xDD
hu knowsSs~~~~?
gao dim ur laptop siin bahh~ kaka






*~ eNd ~*

又来一个这样的夜晚..

想睡的时候, 不能睡~
不能睡的时候, 偏偏一直要睡~
KILL ME!! >?<"
如今.. 本来是累了的..
可是躺下去.. 却怎样都睡不着..
我的 biological clock.. 应该是被我弄坏了.. T_T
假期我会修理修理你的啦~
忍耐点吧~
可是...
可是...
可是..你的主人忍耐不了啊!! (火_火)"
拜一!! 请你快点来..
快点来结束我的痛苦.. T_T
我看.. 星期日探访mak angkat 的打算..
得取消了..
免得自己无端端背上不必要的 STRESS~ @@"
嗯.. 应该就是酱啦~
gambateh~ 撑多 1 2天啊~~~

+*+*+

p.s:
其实.. 昨天有不爽的咯!~
话总不能好好地说的么?
一句话.. 可以有很多种说法..
不一定要出口伤人..
我又没有蛮不讲理..
不要给我负气的话..
而且还...... zzz
别跟我说是因为不懂要讲什么或是什么的为理由..
试试看让我那样做.. 看你会不会火冒三丈!
那样跟普通朋友有什么差?
还有那个矛盾之处..
你不要改.. 就算逼也没用..
我要习惯.. 也没道理习惯得了..
如果你说你就是这样..
那我也说我就是这样..
难道就不用解决了吗?
就是因为每次都没讨论怎样去解决它..
所以每次才会因同样的状况而吵起来..
那个问题.. 我是从来都没遇过的咯..
奇怪到半死.. =="
你说.. 该怎样才好?

+*+*+




*~ 毕 ~*

闭气

终于考完了............ 3 科.. =="
还有 3 科还没考.. zzz
虽然说只是 3 科..
可是, 却足以拿掉我的命..
第一科, 是英语的科目.. 但是厚..
它.. 它... 它..... 竟然 难到... 不懂要怎样形容..
第二科, 提早读了.. 但是?!..
它.. 它... 它..... 竟然 也难到.. 出了题没想到的题目..
印象中.. 它也好像没出现过那样..
只怪自己没更早点儿开始温习.. =(
haiz...
另一题, 读过.. 不过却紧张过度..
记不起来!
它奶奶的..
另一题.. 还好而已..
简的来说?
酱就死了两科!!

昨天嘛.. 温习着今天要考的科目时..
已经没信心了..
可说是濒临崩溃状态..
反正读了也不会.. 不如不读更好~
不过咧.. 有个人突然变得很清醒酱..
安慰了我一下..
虽然是迟了点.. 不过.. 还可以接受啦~~~
所以.. 又tahan了一下下..
就酱..
第 3 科的仗.. 也打完了..
只是.. either FAIL or ngam ngam hou PASS! =="
*无言*

眼看.. 那三科.. 都没望了.. ='(
接下来还要更更更努力..
不然.. 我的成绩会死得很好看.. zzz
CGPA 再掉的话..
我会 JIP SAO NG DOU LORRR~!!! >?<"
考完, 哭..
还没考, 也哭..
看成绩时.. 一定又会再哭..
考试的压力.. 往往我都无法克服.. T_T
父母没逼我..
是我自己逼到自己喘不过气来..
我就是无法原谅自己糟糕的烂成绩..
我的底线.. 是一半的分数以上..
可是.. 这个sem..
3 个mid term.. 2 个都没超过一半..
烂!!!
虽然说很多人都一样.. 不过我还是不喜欢!!
这样的要求太高咩???
不可能.. 对吧?
只是.. 万万想不到的是..
coursework marks.. 竟然少到不像样!
这次不死.. 都难了.. T_T

酱子.. 哪可能不伤心呢?..
咳...


*~*~*

熬夜.. 就来熬到变成它那样了.. =(













*~*~*



*~ 毕 ~*

study..
stUdy~

sTUdy~~!!

argh!!! >?<"

....................................................................................................

一些些。。

好久都没写blog 了。。
几怀念一下~
不知不觉。。 y2s1 就这样。。将近尾声了。。
asgmnt 的仗。。 打完了。。
之后就是跟final 打仗了~
准备？？ 还没有。。 ==
紧张？？ 说没有！是骗人的。。 ==
咳。。。
祝我好运吧~ =/

+*+*+

想想下。。 在我的生活中。。
真的有许许多多的矛盾之处。。
难以接受的。。 也都接受了。。
只是。。 有些东西。。还是无法接受。。
有时。。 甚至会觉得很辛苦。。
也许。。 是过不了自己那关？
会去做的东西， 有些却没完成、没做到。。
不是想去做的东西，却做到了。。
你说。。 矛盾吗？==
有时候。。 我不知道自己想要什么。。
有时候。。 知道自己要什么。。却不懂得如何表达。。
尝试表达出来。。 却弄巧反拙。。 不然就是把事情给弄恶化掉。。
不表达出来。。 没不好的事情会发生。。
但是。。 自己却会把问题闷在心里。。
直到喘不过气来。。
更糟的是。。 一次过把问题、任何东西搬出来讲。。
脾气、心情、思考能力。。 也不会好到哪里去。。
结果。。 也不就会从恶劣状况中先着手。。
之后才“化险为夷”。。 >?< 有问题，却没答案的状况。。 是最令人气愤的咯。。
给点耐性去听、去明白。。 好么？

+*+*+





*~ 毕 ~*

像个白痴那样。。 =="

=/

asgmnts week~
mid terms comin~ (NEXT WEEK!!)


,,,
Orz


eeeekkkkk~~!!! T_T


i don wan~~~ >?<"










*~ eNd ~*

o囧o

最近。。 做了一件事。。
可能习惯了。。
有时候做某些决定 。。没想那么多就去做了。。
忘了如今不像从前。。
不能够随便乱来。。
结果？ 忽略了一个人的感受。。 =s
一时忘了那样做。。 其实是个致命伤。。
eek..
对不起。>?<
假如有个时光机。。 那该多好啊？
至少可以不遇到一些令我不开心的人事物。。而痛苦。。
不用当了个笨蛋！
有伤口。。 那应该是自找的呱。。
咳。。
请原谅我不够信心。。
给我些些时间。。
好让我把它积少成多。。
好吗？^^

p.s:
别再倒下了。。
因为那种感觉原来蛮恐怖的。。 =="


*~ 陵 ~*

。 。 。

没兴趣看者。。 就 juz ignore 以下的东东罢了。。


不明白。。
到底是我太粗心？ 还是你太细心？
有时。。 我很介意。。 而你却不介意。。
有时。。 你很介意。。 而我却不介意。。
当我认为一个人生气的时候。。
最好别出声。。
最好别打扰。。
哪知？ 原来那是错 的。
何时。。 我所做的。。才会是对的？
很好奇。。
那是因为那令人讨厌的被忽略感？
还是那醋惹的祸？
还是。。??? o.O
为什么。。 当我在一个陌生或听不懂的状况下。。
不为我想想。。当时我的感受是如何的？
你处在的时大家都认识的状况。。
因不懂在说些什么& ... 而发闷气？。。
也许。。 你会觉得我不够体谅你吧？。。
你知道我不会只理会你一个人的。。
我本来都是这样。。 不是么？
也许。。你是因为想到将会有很少时间一起。。
所以想我多点陪你。。
可是我却想到。。 难得有得有机会聊聊。。
所以就聊久了些。。
结果？ 就酱了。。 =="
不同的人。。 有不同的想法？
到底该怎么办才会是最好的？
不喜欢这样的感觉。。
讨厌现在的感觉！


咳。。



*~ 毕 ~*

u can never understand sth if u never experience it before..

u can never understand sth.. (for example: feeling, the purpose of doing sth.. etc..)
if u never experience it before..

u always think tat living outside would be very fun..
or thr would be a lot of freedoms..
yes.. it's fun sometimes..
and yes.. thr's freedom..
u can do anth u lyk without anyone scoldin o nagging over ur ears..
living outside would be the best place to head to..
when thr's arguments o me-mafan-kan geh stuff happening..
but haf u tot of sth?..
when u dam hungry.. and when thr's nobody that can provide u wid food immediately..
how will u feel?..
u haf car.. u can go anywhr u lyk..
u can do watever u lyk..
but haf u tot of.. when thr's no car for u.. wat can u do ?
if.. when u are sick at a far distance place from home..
u can only fight wid the sickness alone..
without the annoying nagging from parents to eat this med.. tat med..
will u b happy tat way?..

all of these.. u two have never experience before..
and u two even tot of living outside wid own ability b4..
sure mao?
when hungry.. den just say "cook sth/xxx for me~ mommie~"
working is tiring.. i know..
but wat abt daddy?
he is not young anymore..
cant u two just help to do house chores without any arguments?!
imagine sth..
if u live outside.. no matter how tired u are..
u still have to do ur own housework..
nobody will help u tat time..
dont u two know tat.. actually staying at home is quite a blessing ?
who like to be nagged ?
but.. if everyone can cooperate to settle those works together..
den ma no nagging o arguments will happen lo.. (altho sometimes still will have..==)
but still.. just done ur own part ma ok lo..
cant u all just talk properly wid each other ?!
cant u two just be more thoughtful?
haizz...

don hang up on me without saying a goodbye..
i DO MIND tat.. alot..
especially wid family..
bcoz family is the one that i care the most..
wat's so important until u have no time to listen to me?...
if u're busy den don call me first..
i talked alone thr lyk a siao one without getting any replies..
and that's not only once!
line not good is one of the bad communication factor..
but still.. not paying attention is also another factor!
i tot u were juz jokin by sayin..
den juz off lo..since u angry.. =="
hu wun angry?
mana tau.. u really off web cam..
deng..
have u tot of how would i feel???
or bcoz i used to not letting ppl noe my feeling..
tat's y u don know?
my fault ?

='(

*feel so stupid*



*~ eNd ~*

=s

sekali gus watched le 7 episodes of Bleach~
yay~ shuang~ ^^
so nice eh~~~

ahem..
hmm.. y2 juz started.. it's kinda scary lo..
haiz.. scare wat if i couldnt cope wid it ?
wat if.. i disappoint my parents again?
wat if.. i stress myself out again? =="
eek!!


don wanna be lyk last sem.. .. ..
gambateh bahh.. =/




*~ eNd ~*

>?<"

怕怕~~~ >?<"
几个小时后。。。
either 松了口气。。
不然。。 就是口哭个够力。。 T_T
maii anehh laa~
保佑大家都平安过关好不好？~ ~




*sobz*



*~ 毕 ~*

Wednesday... can dont come??? >?<"

RMWD~

七早八早就已经考完试了。。 但是就是没回kL.. 哈哈。。
因为参加了rakan muda 举办的下乡活动。。
at CHENDERONG BALAI, Sg. Manik..
所以就迟些回家。。
嗯。。 在那里。。 没有我想象中的“ulu”。。
就。。 kampung酱咯~
呵呵。。
我的ibu angkat的家。。还蛮简陋的。。
虽然说是一个人住而已。。 不过。。 也有点可怜的感觉。。 =/
风扇小到。。。 下午就会gok 死她涅。。
不过晚上却很凉爽。。 所以有得好好地睡觉。。
不过。。 可能因为在陌生的地方。。
结果我睡下。。 醒一下。。 @@ lol
她的家只有两间房。。 结果她就让了出来给我们四个anak angkat 睡。。
*好伟大~*
她已经有60多岁了耶~ 叫她去房间睡她又不肯。。 >?< 就酱。。 三个夜晚。。 她都睡客厅。。 =x
她的儿女全都长大了。。
她又不喜欢城市的生活。。
所以退休后就住在那kampung 了。。
从马来人的口中听他们的言语。。
说真的。。 还有点难度。。
有时我花了好久一段时间才能消化她在说些什么。。
排写啦~ 至少我有努力去听她在说什么。。 呵呵
and and.. 她很怕我们会饿坏呢。。
一直问我们饿不饿？
所以在她的家。。 一定会有食物准备在桌上的。。 =]]

她家的庭院~














这个就是她家的铁门了。。














一进去屋里。。 就会看到这个厅了。。














中间的是我们的ibu angkat..
其他四个冬瓜就是她的anak angkat了~^^














最后一天。。我们要离开那里时。。
她哭了耶。。 =[
之后还搞失踪。。不给我们找到她。。 =/
正式的掰掰都没说到涅。。
有机会的话。。 就再去找她吧~ ^^
给她老人家开心一下~
她没有能够出去远门的交通工具。。
所以只能靠她的孙和孩子们买东西给她。。
幸好他们偶尔还会回来探望她。。 =]]
第四天。。 她特地订了四个burger 给我们当早餐。。
实在是太感动了。。
真的很谢谢她在那几天里那么的照顾我们。。 =D

lesson learned?
在金宝的时候。。
真的比在kampung那里幸福很多了。。
该知足了。。
虽然金宝偶尔也gok到半死。。
不过。。应该也会比在kampung尝到的。。 好多了。。
至少。。身边有很多人陪伴着~ ^^♥
真的真的。。 以后不能把父母年老后。。
丢下他们自己生活。。
因为。。 真的有点感到蛮孤独的。。 =/

不过。。 时间久后。。
一定又会再complain 生活里的不满的。。 lol
human nature? =pp

有个人特地上去载我回家。。 还蛮开心的。。
哈哈。。 xpp
那个冒险之途。。 爽卯？
哇咔咔~
不谢谢你啦~ ^^♥
我看迟早你真的会被搞到心脏病发作。。
哈哈！

最近。。 怎样睡都还很累。。
不懂是精神上累。。
还是什么的。。
aikz..
希望这个sem break 能够有足够的休息吧~ >?<"

倒数 7 天~ ^^

*~ 毕 ~*

eeeek...

hu can teach me how to edit the blog's layout?~~~ >?<"
aduii..
all the html codes geh blogskins..
semua tak boleh pakai nehh.. gahh...
o hu can make a nice nice background for my blog??~~~?~~~?
sobz sobz..

one more paper..
den another sem gone..
and...
and......
year 2 is coming soon ad.. @@
so fast~



*~ eNd~*