why...

why human will sad?
why human have feeling?
why human are curious?
why is there always a WHY in our brain?...

haiz..why am i will still sad when i saw those pictures?.. i did not appear in those pictures more than 5 times.. im not included in it.. T.T i trying hard to think.. how many picture did we took this year?.. almost none.. how many days did we spent together this year?... NONE =.=" de smile she gave is fading away.. i dont know whether its a true smile or a fake smile?.. once..she said we are best friend..but.. i couldnt feel that anymore.. normal friend will simply greet you with a smile or a 'hi'.. but pls dont tell me that you dont even have time to say a 'hi' to me? (WARNING: im not lesbian =.=") or because im too short to be seen?.. if she dont want to be my best friend.. then dont force herself.. just tell me to get out of her world.. and i will dissappear from her memory.. forever..if she wants it..i dont wanna be other people's burden.. what she want actually?.. i know she got a big bunch of friends.. so i be the one who can be threw away when they feel like it?.. and then no one will even notice.. they wouldnt realise as just a tiny little thing dissappear.. i cant help myself not to think that way.. i really unable to control my brain..to not to think like that.. honestly..i got no "xing xin" in friendship thingy already.. its only 50%:50% to believe that friendship can really last.. not that i dont believe in you guys.. it's just.. that group of friends make me dunno what to do.. add me in is really that troublesome?.. am i a person that always bring troubles to others?.. if they are my normal friends.. i wouldnt even care to bother them.. pls dont treat me like a teddy bear, can? talk to me when you are bored.. then throw me away when you have accompanies.. what am i? i dont wanna be a teddy bear...

p.s:
xv, i doesnt mean you guys didnt care about me..just..i dont understand why?.. why are they so weird?.. SORRY!..i think negatively again... =.="